Strawberry

Category: Writers Block

Post 1 by ApplePeaches (If the zone bbs was a drug, I'd need rehab.) on Monday, 29-Feb-2016 1:18:46

It was an early morning at the end of February, and I noticed something
wasn't right with Cody, my first dog who is 11 now. He wasn't acting right.
He wasn't eating, he didn't want to go for walks, and he was limping. I
would carry him outside, and he would do his business and lay down. I was
worried about him, and I knew Fluffy knew something wasn't right with his
brother. I took Uber to the animal hospital. I put Cody in his carrier and
walked inside.
"Cody, don't die! You can't die, you just can't! You're the best dog in the
whole wide world!" I was screaming. So I sat in the waiting room, hugging
him and cuddling him. I waited and waited.
I was finally called in to see the doctor after what seemed like a lifetime,
but it was only a half an hour. I explained to the doctor what was going
on. The doctor did a blood test. I had to wait 2 days for the results.
During those 2 days, I had him home and I did not leave him at all. Those
2 days were the worst 2 days of my life. I had my hand on my iPhone the
whole time, my 2 fingers together so I could answer the doctor's call. I
didn't eat or go to sleep. I only got up to go to the bathroom. Other than
that I was glued to Cody and my iPhone. When I took care of Fluffy, I had
Cody in his carrier so he could watch me.
Finally, 2 days later, the doctor called me with the results.
"I'm sorry, but I have some bad news," he said. With that my heart was
pounding and I was shaking. I was holding Cody telling him no he can't go.
"What does he have?" I asked.
"Well," the doctor said, "he has liver failure, and he can't digest food
properly. Your best option would be to put him to sleep."
I was about to do one of the hardest things in my life. The next day I
would be going to the vet to put my dog down. I spent 3 hours in the
vet's office saying goodbye. I couldn't tell the doctor to put him to sleep.
He was deteriorating, and I knew it would be the best option, but I just
couldn't do that to my poor dog. I finally told the vet to put him down,
and it was the worst feeling. I put him in a trash bag and called another
Uber. I stopped at a craft store to pick up some modeling clay. I took one
of his paws and put his pawprint in the clay so I had a way to remember
him. That was all that was left of the poor dog.

A week later, I got another dog. I went to a breeder who was breeding
poodles. I told them I was looking for a girl, the color didn't matter. I just
wanted Fluffy to have a friend. I didn't want him being the only dog in the
house. I wanted him to have someone to hang out with when I'm at work.
The lady brought out a puppy who was 6 weeks old. She was so tiny, and
I held her in my lap. I could tell that I was already attached, and I told
the breeder she's mine. I decided to name her Strawberry. I brought her
home in Cody's old carrier since Uber drivers want animals in carriers. The
uber driver loved her. I let him hold her for a few minutes, but that few
minutes turned into an hour.
When I got home, I let the dogs gradually get used to each other. The
baby was in her crate, and Fluffy was just sniffing her. I let them take
turns being in the crate during the day so they could slowly meet. They
began loving each other immediately. I knew this was the best option for
my dog.

Post 2 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Monday, 29-Feb-2016 11:05:32

um, so you murdered cody once again... poor doggie! at least you got
strawbery! :p don't kill her or I will call the police. lol

Post 3 by DevilishAnthony (Just go on and agree with me. You know you want to.) on Monday, 29-Feb-2016 11:23:29

did cody die in a flash of silverLightning?

Post 4 by SilverLightning (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Monday, 29-Feb-2016 11:36:17

Your writing is awful. You can't form a coherent string of activities. Like, you
took the uber to the vet, and then put the dog in the carrier? Cuz that's what
you wrote, and that would be dumb.

You also need work with quotes. If you're going to modify a quote with a term
like screaming, you need to put it with the sentence so that its clear that's what
you're doing. When that quote is really long, like yours was, you should put it in
the middle, so the reader can be sure what voice you're trying to use.

Then, your talking is terrible. How can you be telling the dog not to die, and
be asking the vet what to do. were you talking over the vet the whole time? Did
the vet ask you what in the world you were talking about? Did you stop talking
to the dog to talk to the vet? We don't know, because your writing doesn't make
it clear. And probably because none of us really care enough to investigate
further.

Get training and then write stories, because these are awful.

Post 5 by forereel (Just posting.) on Monday, 29-Feb-2016 13:09:41

Did you toss the dog in the garbage? You never said?
A dead animal in a trash bag going home must have started to smell.

Post 6 by write away (The Zone's Blunt Object) on Monday, 29-Feb-2016 15:52:33

Oh man, why did you kill Cody again... Damn. Cody, instead of focusing on her atrocious writing, maybe you might want to look into some sort of protection... Apple has a deep-seeded obsession with you and it looks like its tinged with hatred... But she loves you cody... don't die!!! :D

Post 7 by SilverLightning (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Monday, 29-Feb-2016 18:27:04

I have protection bernadetta, fifteen rounds of nine millimeter protection.

Post 8 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Monday, 29-Feb-2016 18:44:42

She loves you, Cody. I'd say it's puppy love, but so as not to be terribly trite we'll just call it damned twitterpated. Lol

Post 9 by AgateRain (Believe it or not, everything on me and about me is real!) on Monday, 29-Feb-2016 19:17:32

Now now, you just got Cody what? A few months ago? And, now he's 11 or whatever and dying? Girl, this is disturbing. lol

Post 10 by AgateRain (Believe it or not, everything on me and about me is real!) on Monday, 29-Feb-2016 19:18:08

At first the stories were annoying/cute once we started talking about made up Cody's, but now... I dunno.

Post 11 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Monday, 29-Feb-2016 19:22:06

she killed it! she killed the dog! she has to face it! or did she kill real cody?
well, cody, as Bernadetta said, get your guns and all your weapons and hide
from her. Agreed, lakeria. at first I'm like, aww cute then... what the... :p
anyways, like me, you need to work on your writing. you write like a
teenager. I'm just saying. I need to work on writing myself so...

Post 12 by rdfreak (THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE-BLUE KANGA-KICKIN AUSIE) on Monday, 29-Feb-2016 21:39:15

hahaha Anthony; you're awesome! :) hahaha

Post 13 by rdfreak (THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE-BLUE KANGA-KICKIN AUSIE) on Monday, 29-Feb-2016 21:54:07

and she does love cody; heard it on audioboom.
I'm not telling out of turn as it's public. :)

Post 14 by ApplePeaches (If the zone bbs was a drug, I'd need rehab.) on Monday, 29-Feb-2016 23:58:31

Well when you write stories, you can write it taking place within many years
of time, and only take a few weeks or months to actually write it. I put the
animal in my backyard and buried him, and I kept his pawprint as a momento.

Post 15 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 01-Mar-2016 9:56:41

you're loca in the head, girl! :p

Post 16 by SilverLightning (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Tuesday, 01-Mar-2016 10:55:04

Yes, your story can span years. There are stories that span hundreds of years,
but those stories, and this is important so pay attention here, those stories are
written by people with something we like to call talent. They have a skill, and
they're good at that skill. They practice it, learn from people who are good at it,
and become better themselves. Then they practice that skill until they are a
master of it. That skill, in this case, is writing. So there are people, who are not
you, who are good at writing, very good at writing, and they can make a story
span as many years as they want. You, on the other hand, have the writing
ability of a rather mentally challenged slug who happened to fall on a keyboard.
So you, who have little to no talent at writing, cannot make a story span years,
because you don't know how. You don't know how to make a story flow, so that
the passage of time seems natural and makes sense. You don't know how to
make it clear to the reader that you have skipped forward in time. Hell, you
don't even know how to correctly phrase a sentence so that it doesn't make
anyone with a working knowledge of basic grammar want to chew through your
fingers so you can't type anymore. Once you learn these, and dozens more,
skills, then yes, you can make a story span as many years as you want, but you
don't have these skills, so stop torturing fiction. Its dead, you've killed it, leave
it alone.

Post 17 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 01-Mar-2016 11:04:51

dang cody, and I thought I was the bitch. well, agreed with you there.

Post 18 by forereel (Just posting.) on Tuesday, 01-Mar-2016 13:10:26

You're all bitches. She's doing exactly what you are suggesting.
(Practicing)
Laughing.

Post 19 by write away (The Zone's Blunt Object) on Tuesday, 01-Mar-2016 13:56:07

Uh oh. Bad Cody dog!! Chewing through her fingers like that... Hey apple, bet you want to put a muzzle on that bad doggy, don't you. lol.

Post 20 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 01-Mar-2016 14:08:48

lol, bernadetta!

Post 21 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Tuesday, 01-Mar-2016 14:29:31

He might like that.

Post 22 by DevilishAnthony (Just go on and agree with me. You know you want to.) on Tuesday, 01-Mar-2016 15:33:44

The stress she put the poor dog through made it age extremely rapidly!

Post 23 by AgateRain (Believe it or not, everything on me and about me is real!) on Tuesday, 01-Mar-2016 16:25:08

lol

Post 24 by ApplePeaches (If the zone bbs was a drug, I'd need rehab.) on Wednesday, 02-Mar-2016 0:56:23

Lol dogs love to chew on things. Cody says it like it is...